Tuesday, September 09, 2003
allow me to highlight an example tt i find so refreshing and so true to wat i am going thru right now. this story( an exerpt from the summary of Kim n Kerry from ERs love saga that broke into pieces) n the bits in bold will highlight wat i am thnking abt feli....
The little things that Kim said and did showed her consideration for the woman she was falling for. When Kerry's glasses broke and she had to wear contacts, Kim took the opportunity to notice and compliment her.
Kim and Kerry were dining at a cozy little table for two. The lights were low. Here, we got to see how each woman brought out more private qualities in the other. Kerry became loud and animated, gesturing wildly and laughing hysterically as she told a funny story. Kim's more serious, sensitive side, as she told a sad one, gave us a different perspective of her. We learned that Kerry had been married and divorced.
We also learned that this was their second dinner together. As Kim picked up the tab, she casually commented that this might be considered a date. Kerry, unnerved, admitted that she knew Kim was a lesbian, but stammered through denying her own growing feelings for Kim. "You know, I'm really very flattered.. I mean, I got sure.. You're such a beautiful woman." She was stricken. "You're so beautiful. But I'm straight. I mean, I don't, I'm straight.
"Okay."
"Oh, God.. Oh, my God! I don't know.. I don't know what.. I mean, I'm sorry. I just, I don't.. I feel very.. um.. You know what? I just.. I mean I guess I never even really considered this."
Back at work, Kerry called for a psych consult, and took the opportunity to present Kim with a Christmas gift.
After Kim opened the gift, a first-edition copy of a book she liked, she found Kerry and commented that the book was probably too expensive. When Kerry shrugged it off, because she liked to spend money on her "friends," Kim got upset. She told Kerry that
she didn't need any more friends, that given her attraction to Kerry, friendship would be too difficult.
Kerry still wasn’t ready to admit it, so Kim leaned in and kissed her, directly on the lips. Kerry kissed back, before pulling away, confused, but clearly confused because she enjoyed it.
Kim reaffirmed that she could not be Kerry's friend.
there is more to this saga. if anyone is interested go to
http://www.weavered.com/kkhistory.html to find out more.
but this is wat i think. considering the situation i dun thk i can ever truly be frens with feli. cos i will always feel this way. i will. nothing she has done has gotten rid of it. as for the kim n kerry saga, i dun thk feli can ever at least for a bit n for a little while feel the same for me. n even if she did i dont thk she can ever come out. n i dun want my gurl to be behind the closet abt herself and abt my r/s with her just like kerry did in ER. anways im just dreaming. so back to the kim n kerry saga...yah..it relates to me. go read.
--insignificant lies--
9:27 pm
